Selfportrait Challenge

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Selfportrait Challenge

When the words are superfluous

I’m a visual person. And I have a ritual.

The day of my 37, I decided to make a Selfportrait session each month.
I’m a high sensitive person and photography is a way to me to heal my soul, my wounds, to feel better, as an outlet to eliminate tensions.

When no words are enough strong to describe an emotion, these moments allow me to express my feelings, boost my creativity and help me to move on!

Discover bellow the pictures and the « Behind the scene » explanation. 
I hope you will enjoy it!

#2 Who Cares?

For this new beginning, I wanted to show who I am in a daily basis. Feminine, rock’and’roll, provocative, strong, vulnerable, happy, nostalgic. A « All-in-One pack ». 

But these photos are hiding something much deeper. Mourning my old « Me », the one who was supposed to get married.
To say goodbye to those these plans, to this old life, and welcome with kindness the woman I become, the life I build, and the new path that is taking shape in front of me. 

Barcelona, home
— January 2020

#3 Roller Coaster

With this serie, I wanted to show a part of my personality few people knows about: I am a high sensitive person.
Be highly sensitive comes with both advantages and drawbacks: seeing shades of emotion, creativity, intuition, highly aware of the needs of others, but also a stronger reaction to both positive and negative experiences.

I can absorb emotions, that means my mood is constantly swinging.
It seems like I spend my days riding an emotional roller coaster.

During years, I suffered a lot. I thought I was « different », people around me constantly told me that I was too sensitive, or intense.
I start hiding this with humor and provocation.
But with time, and maturity, I learn how to accept this difference, and live with this and make the best of it.

Gradually, I dare to unveil this sensitive and sweet side of myself. Several friends told me they didn’t recognize me in these photos, and still…

Barcelona, home
— february 2020

#4 Lockdown serie | Connections

March was the first month of the Corona virus lockdown. With this pictures, I wanted to express the need of human connections.

Barcelona, home
— march 2020

#5 Lockdown serie | Isolation

April was a hard month. We started the second month of lockdown and my mood was swinging a lot. The weather was bad, I was overwhelmed, exhausted.
I tried a lot of different photo shoot, and felt like I wasn’t doing anything right.

These pictures aren’t the best but they are very strong.
I wanted them as if there were someone doing a reportage. « The slow descent of an ego ».
The tired body under the weight of years, responsibilities, confinement, isolation, loneliness. Despair but also the call for assistance from the eyes.

Barcelona, home, bathroom
— april 2020

#6 Lockdown serie | Will you be there?

Third selfportrait session for april, it seems that I was searching deeply something in my creativity!
This time, I was really sad because a friend of mine just cutoff our friendship.
And I began to think about since how many years I had been alone, with no one to count on, on the up and down days. How many years I’d had to rely on myself only. The years when I was in couple too : was the other one really there, ready to go through everything, the ups and downs, when life is going well, but when it takes a different twist…? Or it was just a perception, a awakened delusion?
I was crying a lot and I told to myself « I need to transform all these feelings, all these teas to something creative »

« Will you follow where I’m going? Will you know how to live the worst?
The loneliness, the passing of time  And habit, look at them
Our enemies, tell me you do. Tell me you do. »

Lyrics from Seras-tu là ? Michel Berger

Barcelona, studio at home, trying some flash triggers
— april 2020

#7 Lockdown serie | Instagram Prostitution

I want to tell a story.
The story about our relation with Instagram, the relation with our self-estime, a fragile balance between Love and Prostitution.
Girls here are using the same codes and body languages to win some “likes” and I felt this is more and more since the lockdown began.

Please girls, look inside yourselves your energy, yours strengths and stop running after Likes. This is not Love, this is not real. You know that, after all, you are not like this.

Barcelona, bedroom trying a led light
— april 2020

#8 May • Lockdown serie | Mariposa

One day, someone told me that Mariposa is my sign. He offers me a necklace and a paper with some notes I lost since years, but still remember:

« Mariposa is the quintessence of life balance.
You are bound together in a fantasy.
Like you, it wasn’t born in softness.
Like him, you combine fragility, strength, self-metamorphosis.
Keep it close to you, and hold it when you dive into the depths of yourself.
It will remind you in a second who you are.
Mariposa is the symbol.
Your symbol. »

I think the best pictures I made of myself. No tricks. No cheat. With imperfections.
Wrinkles at the corners of the eyes, mirrors of past happiness. Woman and little girl. Strong and fragile in the meantime. Me. Just as I am.
The Mariposa that finally hatch.

Barcelona, home, balcony, 2020

#9 May • Lockdown serie | Kodak

Barcelona, home, balcony, 2020

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